Flickr (user robennals)

I've been in the European Union for some time now and life here is definitely different from Ukraine. I should probably start with the basics. Toilets. In the European Union toilets are pretty and clean and have lots of useless decorations like the toilet bowl. Why do you need this big thing to sit on? It's not like you spend hours on it. Maybe if you eat Indian food or something but otherwise you go in and a minute later you are done.

Therefor I think it's a big waste of resources. Why don't we keep it simple like it was in the good old Soviet Union?  Hole-in-the-ground-toilet is completely green. Some eco friendly businesses in Ukraine still use them. We don't need these fancy city toilets where they play relaxing music and soap comes automatically on your hands and in some places a robot wipes your ass after you are done. How lazy can you be? It's not that hard to squat for a few minutes and afterwards use your homemade soap and collected rainwater to wash your hands.

Besides saving the earth there is another great benefit. These eco toilets usually don't have walls. Some have small walls to keep people from splashing things on each other. So it's a great way to meet people and start conversations. Imagine doing number two while someone else is doing the same thing in front of you. It's a very intimate situation that wouldn't happen on the street. So metaphorically and literally the walls are down and you can communicate freely. Who needs social networks? Beside perverts I mean.

I have an idea to build a hole-in-the-ground-toilet network all over Europe! Maybe one day it could be launched in America as well. Benefits will be enormous. Please give me some constructive feedback!

1)  Already at the beginning of the fifties, scientists calculated how many cars there should be for hundred people, to keep the planet safe. Answer was 1/1000. It's not that we were poor. Same thing with washing machines, there where 1 washing machines for 100 people. We knew why we are all doing this. Because of the planet.

2) Everybody drove by train like one big happy family. But it was not because we didn't had money to built roads. There was no point in building roads, because there were no cars.  Our train traffic was one of the best in the world.

3) The Big Thinker Stalin limited the number of people, who can go abroad by plane. People think that he was an evil dictator but that is a lie. He knew, that planes have awful impact on nature and that is the reason nobody got out behind the iron curtain. We worked together like good friends, always laughing. And if somebody tried to fly away with a homemade plane then the military shoot the plane down and just in case eliminated all family members and closest friends of the bad guy. Because military cared about nature.

4) Already during  Second World War Stalin knew that overcrowded cities are bad for mother earth, so he deported many people to Siberia to keep the population  equally spread all over the Soviet Union. He knew what was best for us.

5) In the Soviet Union we had the biggest vegetarian movement in the world. We knew that it's bad to kill cows and other animals. That´s why Big Entrepreneur Stalin came up with idea to give 200 gr meat to people in a month. And what happened? We were all happy and sang together. If you don't believe me, read newspapers from that time.

In my opinion 5 facts is enough though it is not hard to make a list with 250. Translation for the picture is "Thank you father Stalin for a happy childhood!" What country can you thank for a happy and green childhood? How did they help nature?

Flickr (user Lixas)

I recently saw a movie called Zombieland so to keep the Halloween theme I wonder what would zombies do on the last day of October. They would probably dress up as normal people and empty out a human head and light a candle in it. But an ecozombie wouldn't just throw away the brain. No. He would eat it. So if you are a zombie you should always eat the brain when you take it out of the corpses head. Don't waste it!

To continue the theme I must confess that I have been following Paris Hilton on Twitter. A couple of days ago she posted that she had found a perfect pumpkin for Halloween. So all the rich spoiled kids from her neighbourhood can now enjoy the perfect jack-o'-lantern when they visit her on the big day.

I'm pretty sure that Paris won't eat the pumpkin guts and will just throw it away like most Americans. So if you are a zombie, a Paris Hilton or some other kind of American then don't waste food on Halloween! You can make soup out of pumpkin guts and dry and roast and salt the seeds. They taste just like sunflower seeds but are a bit harder to peal.

Being eco isn't supposed to be easy or fun. Even if the soup is disgusting you have to eat it. The planet is counting on you!

Flickr (user brixton)